Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I could fuck to npr.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
