I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
