is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
