She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize