come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
