I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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