addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize