The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize