One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
This toilet bowl is my home.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
