So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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