Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
People in love make me want to vomit
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
