people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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