my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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