So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
