oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
