I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
