I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
