dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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