More tranny stories later!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
