Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
