so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
