That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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