Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
