The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There's always time for handjobs
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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