i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
