as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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