Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
