Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
