Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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