I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
