I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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