I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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