I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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