I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
