I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
