i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
organizing the empties. That sober.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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