I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
