I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize