I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize