Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize