I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
