he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
