He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
They took my balls.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
