brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
