You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
