I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
