Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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