I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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