lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I licked your asshole in confidence.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
