Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
