Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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