atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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