He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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