he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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