Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
