Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize