Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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