He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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